sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize