so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
