I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize