Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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