I just saw a hot homeless man
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
