I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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