it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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