Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
