Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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