She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
