Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
