My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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