Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
