I can tuck mytits in my pants
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
