I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
