I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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