And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
