dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
