have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
