Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
