he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
