My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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