don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
