Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
