Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
