you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize