well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
