so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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