i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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