She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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