this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
