I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
