It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
