i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
