o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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