So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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