Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
