he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
