ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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