i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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