well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just had sex on a roof
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
