Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
