i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
