Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
