she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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