I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
