he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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