Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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