See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
