We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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