check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
