Your tits are I can't wait for
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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