His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
