They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
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Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
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Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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