I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
